Team nWo official press release thread

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #1

After an extremely successful draft campagain, GM Hulk Hogan is extremely happy at how his roster has turned out. "I am extremely happy how my roster has turned out," stated an obviously excited Hogan "We are going to run wild on League 3 FNBL!" Hogan then went on to state that "If Ric Flair and Macho Man Randay Savage were here now, they would be just as excited as me. We have all of our bases covered and we have some proven FNBL performers. When I was researching this pick, I stumbled upon this YouTube clip of his days in Sweeden. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ph8lqRYRag) I have no clue what they are saying but I was still very excited."

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Julian Khazzouh is one of Hogan's most exciting prospects. "I took a risk with Khazzouh as he is still a bit of an unknown quantity in regards to FNBL production. He did the runner on the now defucnt Sydney Spirit when they ran out of money and couldn't pay him. That shows an interesting side to his character - he likes to get paid! I am a very rich man and should be able to help him out with that. When I was researching this pick, I stumbled upon this YouTube clip of his days in Sweeden. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ph8lqRYRag) I have no clue what they are saying but I was still very excited.""


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Hogan then went on to add "I have a young daughter called Brooke. If she brought Julian home, I would be a happy man. He seems like a well mannered and done to earth bloke who will fit in well with Team nWo and the Hulkamanics."

Team nWo press department apologises for the tardiness of their releases. They have been distracted by the blinding speed of the League 3 FNBL draft. Their goal is to put out at least 3 - 5 press releases per week. Hopefully they can achieve this!

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #2

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In breaking news, GM and owner Hulk Hogan has annouced that Ric Flair will join the coaching staff of Team nWo as Head Coach and Chief Motivator. "Ric and I have had some battles throughout the years. We are two veteran savvy warriors who enjoy the spotlight. I decided to bring Ric in to add a bit of fire to our squad. He is an excitable character who has the potential to bring the best out of people. When I watched this old clip of Ric, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy-LQH8N6Ug) I knew that I had to have him. I made it my number one goal to bring him on board immediately. Luckily for me, he accepted straight away and agreeded to get to work immediately."

We were able to chase Ric down as he is constantly on the go. He made the following statement to Team nWo Press Section: "Hulk rang me as I was stylin and profilin in my limo wearing a new suit. I was so happy that he rang. I had heard about this whole FNBL thing and couldn't wait to be a part of it. This gives me an opportunity to do what I do best: GET EXCITED. I can't wait to be a part of it!"

"I really can't wait to meet CJ Bruton. I have heard some fantastic things about him and I think that he is one of our greatest assests. I am going to light a fire under him so strong that his backside will be burning and he will leave the league in his dust this year. I feel that I am the man to bring out the best in CJ and feel that he is in for a big year."

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Bruton was not as enthusastic as Flair, but obviously excited for the opportunity to work with one of the greatest entertainers in Wrestling history "My father was a man of the 80's and I remember watching old WWF clips all the time. Whilst Ric was with the NWA during most of this period, my favourite match of his was at Wrestlemania 8 when he took on Randy Savage. I was actually just watching this clip of it the other day. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GTW7O6tr5I) I really need to contribute in multiple categories for Ric and Hulk for us to have ultimate FNBL league 3 success."

I am sure that we all agree that CJ will flourish under Ric's mentorship and it is going to be a successful partnership.

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #3

After concluding our phone conversation with CJ Bruton, the phone rang after 10 mins here at Team nWo Press Headquaters. We were pleasantly suprised to hear CJ back on the line again. "I forgot to tell you how excited I am to play with Gabe Freeman. He seems like he is going to be the real deal. His stats from the Top End Challenge were outstanding and I was watching some footage on YouTube of him. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOLbN4xYjrA) He certainly can dunk the crap out of it. I, along with Ric and Hulk's guidance will make sure that he fulfills his potential and lives up to the hype."

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After hearing these positve comments, Freeman was in a reflective mood. "All my life I have wanted to be a part of a quality program like Team nWo. After my stint at Costa Mesa Junior College, I thought that opportunity had passed. I played briefly played for the Albany Patroons in the CBA where I helped them reach the finals. I gained attention of some scouts from the Phillipenes. In 15 games with the Patroons, I averaged 14.3 points per game and 9.7 rebounds per game."

Freeeman continued "I was chosen by the San Miguel Beermen as their 2009 import leading the star studded team to a 7 straight wins, Best League record and an outright semis berth. I competed at the 2009 PBA Slam Dunk Contest during the All-Star Week but lost to David Noel, 82-81, in the imports division. In the last two games before the playoffs I was sidelined because of flu and was temporarily replaced by Chris Williams, whom I believe played for the Sydney Kings for one successful season. I returned to form during the semifinals against the 4th seeded Burger King Whoppers in which we won by 6 games and leading San Miguel to the 2009 PBA Fiesta Conference Finals where I was awarded the Best Import of the conference and was the 1st San Miguel Import to be awarded this century."

"I did not fail his team and with a hard-fought battle between Ginebra and their fans, I led the San Miguel franchise to its 18th Championship, which was also my career first. PBA fans credited my heart and hardwork as a big factor in their victory."

"I am ready to rumble for Team nWo and look forward to creating FNBL history with the Hulkamanics. I am a passionate bloke who has a lot of tatoos. Please don't judge me for them - I really am a fantastic bloke. "

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #4

After unprecedented League 3 FNBL success over the weekend, GM and owner Hulk Hogan was extremely happy with how his roster performed. “I am extremely happy how my roster performed over the weekend,” stated an obviously ecstatic Hogan “We dominated the league. It is good to see that my horses did the job for me. I would like to take this opportunity to publicy acknowledge the work of Ric Flair, in his role as coach and chief motivator. He really got the troops rallied for the opening round and the proof is in the pudding.”

But team nWo is not content to just sit back and allow the action to dictate terms to them. “Whilst we had a great round, I still think that we need to improve. So therefore I have rolled the dice and hopefully I come out in paradise!”

Team nWo is pleased to announce a trade with Cheese is a Kind of Meat. Glenn Saville and CJ Bruton have been trade to make way for Damien Martin (PER) and Mark Worthington (GCB). Whilst some may question the motives in this deal, Hogan is extremely confident “I am a confident individual. It is my personality. I feel that CJ is a bit injury prone and may go down with some form of Afro disorder this year and Saville, whilst being solid, is not in the class of Mark Worthington.”

Both CJ and Saville were contacted in regards to this trade. “I am devastated,” said an obviously devastated CJ Bruton “I felt that I did everything asked of me and performed to the best of my ability in round one.” Saville was less diplomatic in his assessment “Obviously Ric Flair is intimated by the fact that he is not the man in Woolongong. It is my country, not 4 Horseman Territory. They can get stuffed!”

At the time of writing of this article, Damien Martin could not be contacted, but an excited Mark Worthington was able to be found “This is a career highlight for me. It is better than the Olympics, better than attempting to win a title with a team that wasn’t paying me, better than a public feud with Andrew Gaze on SEN radio and better than the time when the Kings beat the Tigers and Brian Goorjian ran around the court pumping his fist. I know that I can be a positive influence on this squad. My awful game last week was just a hiccup and I am now ready to prove Amazing Grace wrong for trading me. You are no Ricky, Amazing!”

Team nWo is also pleased to announce the signing of 80’s WWF superstar Koko B Ware to the coaching panel. “I am to provide each player with a basis of continual improvement and by employing Koko as Wortho’s personal coach, I am attempting to become the Mark Cuban of FNBL League 3 and employ coaches for each player. Koko will look after Wortho and mould him into a fine player.” Koko could not be found due to the fact that his parrot had escaped and he was chasing it around his local neighbourhood.

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #5

One of Team nWo's outstanding performers over the weekend, was the veteran savvy Russel Hinder. Rusty performed admirably in many categories and GM Hulk Hogan was extremely pleased with his productivity "I was extremely happy with Rusty's productivity," stated an obvioulsy excited Hulk Hogan "It was a great game for him and he has once again proven my ability to read the FNBL landscape and pick players that will add value to my franchise."

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"A couple of years ago, it looked as though my career hand finsihed. I even thought that I was going to have to pull beers down at the local pub. Thank goodness that the Crocs picked me up and in turn, it allowed the Hulkster to draft me into Team nWo." said Russell after training the other day.

As per normal Team nWo policy, each player is being assigned with a personal coach / mentor to guide them through the tough FNBL season that lays ahead "I would like to take this opportunity to annouce that Rusty's mentor will be Hacksaw Jim Duggan," exclaimed an excited Hulkster. "He will bring a level of professionalism and personal protection to our team and Russell is lucky to have him."

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Duggan was equally as excited "This is a career highlight for me. The opportunity to shape Rusty into a great man will be one that I will never take lightly. I promise to hit him with my piece of wood if he doesn't keep producing outstanding results. Tough love is the best type of love!"

For Russell's sake, I hope that he can live up to Duggan's high expectations!

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #6

One of the negative performances from last weeks game came from guard Adam Gibson of the Gold Coast Blaze. GM Hulk Hogan was not overly fussed on his performance "I was not overly fussed on Adam's performance," stated a non plussed Hogan "He better pick up his game soon."

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Gibson was more frank in his assemsent - "I really let Team nWo this round and I am determined to not let it happen again. I felt like the weak link in the armour and my performance left me perplexed and dejected. I am not sure if I could live with myself if I let the Hulkster down again next round. It will not happen again."

Head Coach Ric Flair was also blunt "He played like crap. It got better in the 2nd half apparently. At least he is not as bad as Daniel Joyce. In all seriousness, Gibbo is a quality player with a big future ahead of him. He will be better for the run and we will leave the past in the past."

As per Team nWo policy, open and frank assessment of each athlete takes place regulary and a guide or mentor is put in place to help develop that player to the best of their ability. Head Coach Ric Flair and GM Hulk Hogan were both in agreement on who would be the best for Gibbo "I contacted an old friend....a really old friend actually. I have actually known this guy for years. He came with me from the WWF to the WCW and the only reason that he had a job in professional wrestling was because of me. That person is Brutus the Barber Beefcake."

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Brutus is extremely happy to become a part of this franchise "I have been out of work for a while. I really had no wrestling talent and Hogan basically got me every job that I ever have. I am sure that I can mentor Gibbo effectively."

Gibbo is also looking forward to the partnership "Anybody who Hulk wants as a part of this team must be of a high standard. I really want to work on my jump shot and I guess that Brutus could use his scissors as an effective mechanism. If I miss, he could cut my hair!"

Team nWo is looking for an improved performance from Gibbo. Hopefully he delivers soon!

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #7

In a bit of a coup, import guard Troy Devries is another important member of Team nWo who fullfilled the expectations of GM Hulk Hogan last weekend "Troy fulfilled my expectations last weekend. He is a veteran player who will bring some maturity to our program."

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"I am a veteran player who will bring stability to this program," stated an obviously excited Devries. "I have been in the league a couple of years ago with the Razorbacks and I was an exceptional player then. I feel I still have game and will bring it every night!"

Head Coach Ric Flair was also happy with Devries produciton in round 1 of FNBL action, but was catious in his approval "I am catuious in my approval of Troy. He still has a long way to go to gain my respect."

As per Team nWo policy, Devries will be provided with a mentor to guide him through the season. "I really am becoming the Mark Cuban of the FNBL." said Hogan "Providing personal guidance for each player will help them become a better player and a better man in the long run. I am all about developing the whole individual, not just the athletic side. With that in mind, I have made the choice to assign Devries a mentor who I know will float his boat."

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Earthquake was a superstar in the WWF in the early 80's and he has the potential to shake League 3 to it's foundations. "I am going to shake this league up," stated Earthquake. "Troy will be dominating this league in no time. With me here to guide him, things can only get better. Thunder and Lightning may be very very frightning but nothing compared to me!"

Even though Earthquake died from bladder cancer in 2006, he is still able to mentor Devries from the great beyond!

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #8

Two unsung heroes on the Team nWo roster are IR players, Phil Jones and Stephen Hoare. These guys are there ready to jump in at any time and GM Hulk Hogan will not be afraid to activate them if needed "I will not afraid to activate them if needed," stated Hulk "If people on the active roster are not performing, they will find themselves in the line up quicker than a virgin achieving his goal in a brothel!"

Jones was recently acquired off of the Free Agents List "We had Darren Ng on our roster," said coach Ric Flair, "But after looking at the avaliable talent, we felt Jones would offer us more than Ng. If we were interested in obtaining a doctor, we would have picked up Ng in the first round but we are not. If we have any medical concerns, we will visit our local bulk billing doctor, who will hopefully provide us with adequate medical care."

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Jones who stands at 1.96 metres tall, is the highest New Zealand points scorer in NBL history. He has played in Finland, Greece and Italy, and played for the New Zealand Breakers in their debut NBL season. But obviously becoming a member of Team nWo is the icing on the cake "This is it as far as I am concerned," stated Jones "The only thing that could be better is if we could obtaing Kirk Penney to our roster when he returns from chasing his NBA dream."

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As per Team nWo policy, Phil has been assigned a mentor to guide him through the rough patches that occur in a FNBL season. "The Bushwakers were a WWF iconic tag team througout the 80's and 90's and were from New Zealand. Phil could have not better mentors as they are from his country and they understand what it is like to be from New Zealand."

The Bushwakers were unavaliable for comment at this time due to the fact that they were walking around in circles and not making a lot of sense.

Team nWo is hoping that Jones will be a FNBL success. If he is not, he will face the mean axe of destiny!

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #9

"Another round, another success for my squad," was the candid observation put forth by Team nWo GM Hulk Hogan. "We rolled the dice earlier in the week and traded CJ and Sav for Wortho and Martin. I feel that in this round, we have come out a winner."

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Team nWo would like to annouce that Damian Martin has been named player of the week for his all round performance against New Zealand on Friday night and his starring role in the Wildcats demolishment of the Tigers last night. "I knew I had it in me,' stated a joyful Martin "This is a career highlight. To be recognised as the leading light on such an outstanding franchise makes me warm and tingly inside."

"Damian has worked hard to develop his all round game," said coach Ric Flair. "I am sure that he will continue to be an asset to our program as he flourishes under my tutoalige!"

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As per Team nWo policy, each player is provided with a mentor to guide them throughout the season. "For Damian, I have choosen The Ultimate Warrior. He is a pumped up sort of a guy who gets very excited and shakes the ropes and gets the crowd going. Whilst I don't want Damian to get as excited as he does, hopefully he can get something out of the relationship."

The Ultimate Warrior has a bit of a reputation for not being a team player, but he has assured Team nWo that he is in it for the right reasons. "I am in it for the right reasons," stated The Warrior. "Ain't nothing going to break my stride, aint nobody going to pull me down, oh no, got to keep on moving"

Team nWo is equally as enthuased about this partnership and am sure that it will be fantastic. For those who don't know about the Warrior, check out this clip. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkEl_R0dTfY) It will give you a sense of who the man is and what he does. If he can get Martin up for every game, the guy will be in the NBA in 2 years time and no longer a part

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #10

As everyone is aware, Team nWo is a highly well oiled machine, who are constantly looking to push the envelope. "We are constantly looking to push the envelope," stated GM and owner Hulk Hogan. "We are at the cutting edge."

Team nWo would like to share a recent memo that went out to all members of the roster of this squad:

Dear Team nWo member,

Congratulations on the success that you have had over the past two rounds. It has been your pleasure to be a member of our team and I am sure that we will continue to have success throughout the remainder of the 2010/11 FNBL season. Now is not the time to bask in our glory. We must continue to strive to improve.

As you are aware, each player has been assigned a personal mentor to guide them throughout the year. It is of vital importance that you keep in contact with your mentor and follow their instructions. If you choose to not follow instructions and directions, I will get rid of you quicker than the time I beat King Kong Bundy at Wrestlemania 2. I am the supreme dictator here and my word is gospil.

You are under constant pressure to perform and I will not hesitate to trade you to an inferior FNBL program if your performances are not up to scratch. We have two compotent players on the Injured Reserve who are just itching to be a part of the line up. Chris Goulding, it is time for you to deliver!

Please follow the following instructions at all times during your games:

- Do not chuck up any half court 'prayers' at the end of quaters. These count as 3 point attempts.

- If playing against a fellow member of Team nWo, conspire before the game and dictate who is going to achieve stats. There is no 'i' in team but there is in WIN!

- If at any stage you feel as though you can not perform, let me know. I will get rid of you and get somebody via trade or the free agent pool.

Hopefully you can follow these instructions. If you can't, it will be a painful experience for you!

Yours in FNBL


Hulk Hogan

PS....Enjoy this image of me

http://www.televisioninternet.com/news/pictures/hulk5.jpg

So there you have it people - Team nWo is on the cutting edge once again!

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #12

Once again, Team nWo has had a solid weekend of FNBL action and are really pleased with the outcome of their play over the past round. "We are really pleased with the outcome of our play over this past round," stated GM Hulk Hogan, "We are constantly looking to upgrade our roster and improve. Hopefully we can keep it up."

Stephen Hoare has been welcomed back into the fold and he is extremely pleased to be back "I am extremely pleased to be back," stated an obviously excited Hoare. "I was devestated when Hulk dropped me. I was determined to find some form and I have. Hopefully I won't let him down again."

Phil Jones has been dropped to the Free Agent list and will not be missed "I have been very displeased with Phil's play so far this year," stated coach Ric Flair. "He will not be misssed. Our roster is better off without him. We are still looking to wheel and deal. Another player on the chopping block is Gabe Freeman. I am attempting to wield a trade to get him out of our program. Hopefully I either pull the trade off or his play improves. Nothing worse than carrying underperforming FNBL imports from Townsivlle. I picked up Galen Young early in the 2008/09 FNBL seasonand he sincerly let me down. PICK UP YOUR GAME GABE!"

Freeman has been equally as unimpressed with his output "I am letting Team nWo with my underperformance and will attempt to strive to improve. I am not sleeping well, knowing that I am letting my team down. I will try and get some more sleep and improve my output. I entered the league with a lot of hyp ein the pre season but haven't lived up to the hype so far. Please forgive me and give me a chance."

Hopefully for Freeman's sake, his play picks up and he becomes a productive member of Team nWo.

[Hulk Hogan]

Team nWo Press Release #13

Another player that has flourished within the environment of Team nWo is veteran Mark Worthington. GM Hulk Hogan has been extremely pleased with his production thus far "Thus far, I have been extremely pleased with Mark's production," stated Hulkster "He really fills it up in multiple categories and it is his pleasure to be a member of our squad. We wanted to take him with our second pick but somebody, namely Amazing Grace, already had him. We gave away Saville and CJ to get him and Damian Martin. So far it has been a great move for us!"

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Mark's accomplishments are well known to the Australian basketball community. Worthington made his debut for the Kings in 2006 after a standout career at Metro State under former NBL coach Mike Dunlap he won the NABC Division II Player of the Year Award 2005 was named in the 2005 NABC All-American team, 2005 Daktronics Second-Team All-American, 2005 North Central Regional Most Outstanding Player, 2005 Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference (RMAC) Tournament MVP, 2005 RMAC Player of the Year, named to the 2004 RMAC All-Tournament Team and Second Team All-RMAC East Division, also played with Metro State in 2003, 2002 and 2001 and won the 2000 Australian Championship with the Australind Senior High School and named to the All-Australian Team. Worthington was a member of the WA ITC Program 1998–2000 and is a current member of the Boomers squad. Worthington was named 2006 NBL Rookie of the Year. Worthington was name as captain of the South Dragons for the 2008-09 NBL Season, which won the championship for the season. The South Dragons, however, folded and Worthington signed on the Melbourne Tigers for the 2009–10 NBL season.

"In all of my time playing in the NBL, being traded into Team nWo is obviously the greatest achievement that I have ever experienced," stated Wortho "Things can only get better from here for me and Team nWo. I am a serious player who produces some serious numbers in a serious fashion. Watch out Team nWo fans - I am deadly serious about bringing League 3 FNBL success to you!"

As per Team nWo policy, each player is a guide and Mark is no exception to this rule "Lets be honest about this," stated Head Coach Ric Flair, "Mark really does not need a mentor. He is a somebody. He even has his own website (http://www.markworthington.com/) Hopefully the guide that we put in place can add value to his career and improve our chances of overall glory."

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Team nWo would like to take this opportunity to announce that Razor Ramon will be the guide for Mark throughout this FNBL season (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Hall) "I am really excited about this opportunity to work with Mark," stated Razor Ramon (or Scott Hall as he likes to be known) "The guy is a stud and so am I. Maybe I can teach him a thing or two about drinking and celebrating. We will have undoubted FNBL success and we will help this franchise obtain glory. My wife may be worried about me but I am not (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Hall#Personal_life). I know that this will be an awesome opportunity for me and I am sure that I will make it work. I actually have my own YouTube channel. (http://www.youtube.com/user/scotthalltv) That demonstrates how big of a deal I am. I am a somebody and most people in this world are nobody's."

Team nWo has taken a risk employing Hall. Hopefully it pays off!